The holidays have come and gone, and for many that leaves feelings of excitement or anxiety for the new year. After all, the ever present pressure for new years resolutions is a familiar feeling. This is the time of year where we are supposed to wake up on January 1st as a whole new person with new habits, boundaries and routines, right?
Not so much. When asked, most people would be able to tell you a story or two about New Years Resolutions that were started and failed. There are even jokes about how busy gyms are in January, but how they empty out by February. These expectations of setting goals to only fall short year after year leaves many of us to watch the transition to the new year pass us by with no big plans to make any significant changes at all.
I like to think that there are still ways to make New Years Resolutions work. If we make a few adjustments to how we design these goals, we may have a better chance of seeing them come to fruition. First, instead of starting with a bang on New Years Day, start with small steps that build towards a larger goal. As an example, if you aren't accustomed to reading books and would like to start, maybe set a goal to read once or twice a week. This allows you a better chance of staying motivated by making the goal more likely to be achieved. Once this new pattern becomes a habit, you can build up from there. This ties in to the next idea, which is being realistic. If you want to cook a home cooked meal every night of the week, but know you are short on time, you may have to compromise a bit. When we set goals that our time, energy or other resources simply don't allow for, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment. Plan for a good challenge, but make sure your goal makes sense for you.
Next, be prepared to give yourself a healthy dose of grace if you don't achieve your goal one hundred percent. In fact, I tend to prefer just throwing the extremes (all or nothing) out of the equation. Aim for your best, and if you get all the way there, that's great. If you get most of the way, I'd say that's pretty great, too. This, too, is a reason for celebration. We need to take more time to celebrate our steps towards larger goals. When motivation is waning, its important to give ourselves a pat on the back for the effort we have already made.
Lastly, remember to be flexible. Goal setting is an important part of working towards overall life satisfaction, but life can be unpredictable and things don't always go as planned. If you have an awesome goal you make great strides towards in January, and then something changes that no longer makes it possible to move forward, its time to pivot. Recognizing when we need to change our path is a skill, but it can help us from staying stagnant. After all, January isn't the only month of the year we can use to set goals for ourselves. Fortunately, there are eleven other months when we can start positive new habits. Good luck!
